Race, gender, and LGBT politics: The ethics of saying the N-word

I was hanging out with some college educated folks this evening and overheard someone drop the f-word (No, not the word that rhymes with duck…the other one that refers to folks that are attracted to select individuals of their own sex).  Isn’t this as objectionable as saying the n-word?  On perhaps an only slightly less offensive way (by about 2%) this has entered cultural vernacular by labeling something “gay.”   Am I wrong?  Is there a difference?  Can you justify dropping this particular F-bomb? How is this subtly accepted in society?  Particularly in a crowd that should be more pro-diversity?  Isn’t this properly labeled hate speech that erases the human dignity of those who it verbally assaults?thanks to erin davies for the pic