Naming and unpacking the messiness of faith
Faith is a process.
Faith is a relationship.
To be honest and open–when I came to my personal faith–it was mostly out of the perceived rightness or the perceived truthfulness–and maybe a tinge of the opportunity of going to heaven versus going to hell. So in some respects a delayed gratification. As I grew older–I realized the wisdom–or more fully the wisdom of a Christian walk, lifestyle, and relationship with God. As I’ve grown still older I’ve come to appreciate the sacrifice, the grace and forgiveness, the self-reflection, the social justice, along with the truth/wisdom and the relational aspect. My relation with God has never been what I would call perfect–theres give and take–there is waxing and waning. There’s moments of growth and maturity….and there are moments of failing down….and then appreciating the grace of God even more than before.
* There is a whole branch of theology called process theology–as well as a range of more mystical thinkers, doers, and writers in the church on both these issues.