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June 2, 2010 / compassioninpolitics

Strategies for creating better work life balance for entrepreneurs

Experienced technology entrepreneur and venture capitalist Brad Feld writes from deep experience on the issue of work life balance for entrepreneurs:

The challenge of “work life balance” is a central theme for many people, especially entrepreneurs. It took me 15 years, a failed first marriage, and my current wife (Amy Batchelor, Wellesley Graduate) almost calling it quits for me to realize that I had to figure out what “work life balance” meant to me. Today, I can comfortably say that I have a major clue and my life is dramatically better for it.

Brad continues:

At age 34 when – on a long weekend with friends where I was completely absent and struggling to get through a difficult deal (for a company that eventually failed) – Amy turned to me and said “I’m done. I’m not mad – I just can’t do this anymore. You either have to change, or it’s over.”

That woke me up! We spent the rest of the weekend talking about what change meant. I knew that this wasn’t a warning. After that weekend, we created a set of well defined rules which have evolved over time. As I discovered what balance meant to me, the rules evolved into a set of habits which – among others – include (1) Spend Time Away, (2) Life Dinner, (3) Segment Space, (4) Be Present, and (5) Meditate. Following are examples of each:

Spend Time Away: Amy and I take a week long vacation each quarter (which we fondly refer to as “Qx Vacation” depending on which quarter of the year it is) where we completely disappear. No cell phone, no email, no computer, no conference calls – my assistant knows how to find me in case of an emergency; otherwise I’m completely unavailable for the week.

Life Dinner: We have a standing date on the first day of every month that we call life dinner. Occasionally we’ll invite friends; often we have dinner alone. We have a ritual where we give each other a gift ranging in value from nominal / silly (a fart machine) to expensive / romantic (jewelry). We spend the evening talking about the previous month and about the month to come, grounding ourselves in our current reality.

Segment Space: We have two homes – one in the mountains of Boulder, Colorado and one in the small town of Homer, Alaska. Both have nice office areas which are clearly separated from the rest of the house. We only have telephones in the offices and, by some delightful fluke of nature, our cell phones don’t work in our Boulder house. We treat our houses as a retreat from the world and, while we do plenty of working at home, where we do this is separate and distinct from the rest of the house.

Be Present: One of Amy’s lines to me is “Brad – be a person.” This is a signal to me that I’m not present in the moment, that something is troubling me, or simply that I’m tired. Whenever I’m not present, it only takes a short phrase to pull me back from wherever I’ve drifted off to.

Meditate: I use the word meditate metaphorically – everyone should meditate their own way. Four years ago I became a marathoner – the 6 to 10 hours a week I run is my current form of meditation. I’m also a voracious reader and the 10 hours a week I read extends my meditation time. Do whatever you want, but spend some of your time on yourself.

The habits have created a structure for my life that not only encourages but reinforces a healthy work life balance. My work – which used to overwhelm everything else I did – is still a central part of my life. However, it is no longer my singular focus, nor is it the most important thing to me anymore. The balance that I’ve discovered has helped me understand the value of other things, which has made my work and – more importantly – my life – much more rewarding.

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4 Comments

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  1. compassioninpolitics / Jun 2 2010 8:11 pm

    This value can often be embodies in the core values and culture of the organization from the mission statement to personal monthly/weekly updates to family friendly policies.

  2. Manpreet / Jul 21 2010 6:36 pm

    Very thoughtful article. For a fresh take on building strong careers and families, check out Getting to 50/50 — on how men and women share roles with all sorts of good results — including a healthier sex life. The book also debunks some common myths that cause many moms to back away from their jobs. Authors Sharon Meers (a Goldman MD now in tech) and Joanna Strober (a private equity exec) share their often funny tales of combining work and family. Definitely a book worth checking out. http://www.gettingto5050.blogspot.com

  3. compassioninpolitics / Jul 21 2010 8:04 pm

    Interesting resource. Thanks for mentioning it…

  4. drifaulfars / Sep 2 2010 8:28 am

    Hi Brad,
    Thanks for your personal story. It sometimes takes a wakeup call to make us realize what is really important. I use meditation as well with excellent results. Work life balance is an individual thing, for you and your wife the Boulder house is a sanctuary while for someone else it might mean reading a good book. I like the rules of life you have set.
    Great post.

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